What You Will Learn From This Episode:
We’ve all been there…your kid is in a public place and starts throwing a fit over something they can’t live without. How do you handle it? Everyone is looking at you! Do you punish them? What DO you do?Brooke Maroth is a Marriage and Family Counselor in the Metro Orlando area. In this week’s podcast, Cory talks with Brooke about conscious discipline, self-control as a parent and how to handle those really tough situations.
Brooke’s Website: http://www.brookemaroth.com
Follow Brooke on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrookeMarothCounseling?fref=ts
Items Mentioned In The Podcast:
- Timeouts – When you give them, give them so your kids have a chance to calm down, not out of punishment. Give them so your kids can get to a point where they can talk to you about their behavior and you can help to teach them who to handle their emotions. Our job is to teach.
- Tantrums – Make sure you stay in control as the parent. It is your job to model appropriate behavior because you are the adult. Then go into the “parroting method” where you mirror how they are acting by talking to them. “I see you are upset…talk to me about why you are upset.” Empower them to deal with their own emotions, then you can reflect on the behavior. Example: “In this family, we don’t hit people when we are upset.”
- Parenting Fails – If you have a failure as a parent (you yell or lose control of yourself), don’t beat yourself up. It is very important that you go back to your child and tell them that you did not react out of love and that you are sorry. This will make you human and you can both move on. it is ok.
- Food – If your child does not like the meal that you have made for dinner, an option is to tell them that there are no other choices and that we do not waste food in our family and if you do not want it now you can have it in the morning.
- Choices – If you give your kids choices and make the decision theirs, they will always choose right. The key is that both choices you give them have to be a step in the right direction. Example: Your child is not getting out of the car to go to the store. “Would you like to skip into the store or walk into the store?” Both choices will get you into the store, but your child chooses. After they choose you can say something like “You chose to skip into the store! Awesome choice!”
- Consequences vs Punishment – A consequence is something that occurs naturally from a decision that your child makes. It is ok to let them experience the natural consequences of their decision. It is not ok to punish your child with fear based parenting and to shame your children. That does not teach them anything. Remember, they are learning still and everything you do teaches them something.
For more insights from Brooke Maroth and to read some amazing posts that she has written for this blog, click HERE
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